1 My carb overflow is pouring out fuel
2 My airbox has a  puddle of fuel in it
2a My petrol tank and carb bowl were full of rust and sand.
3 My metal plug cap arcs in rain
4 My oil gushed out of front tube all over garage floor
5 Skinned my knuckles getting carb out
6 I struggled for ages to fit rear wheel
7 I changed cambelt on side of the road
8 I washed bike, now it won’t go
9 I found bodge repair from previous owner
10 I didn’t realise I’d knocked run switch
10a My run switch shorted out in the rain
11 My lights and horn have stopped working
11a I didn’t realise I’d knocked blackout switch
12 I had  brake fade
12a What’s the best way to bleed the brakes?
13 I did carb mod and now have a flat spot
13a I did the carb mod and it now goes like stink
14 I broke my key in the steering lock
15 I bought an Original spare, then found a member selling one for a fraction of the price
15a I’m building up a supply of spares
16 I agonised over which colour paint to use, what shade of drab olive should my MT be?
16a The future is bright, the future is GREEN
16b Mines the green one.
16c Anyone want a part-used tin of the wrong colour paint?.
17 I’ve broken my clutch cable but did roadside repair.
18 I’ve routed a spare clutch cable in place
19 I’ve had a broken throttle cable but did roadside repair.
20. I didn’t find neutral today…
21 Pull clutch in, select 1st bike jumps forward 2ft and stalls.
21a Change your oil mate and just run your bike
22 Mainstand springs always come in twos
24 My reserve is smaller than yours
24a I ran out of fuel today
24b I saw an MT350 fuel tap for auction, it said NO RESERVE…
25 They’re faster in red!
26 Ow, my fecking shin.
26a What does the long handle on my 350 engine do…
26b My Armstrong starts second kick,….Does yours?
26c I kickstarted my sidestand this morning.
26d Never kick start near a crowd!
27 Quick get Bike gear. Sh”t it cut out again.
28 My insurance company thinks a MT350 is an Armstrong
30 I didn’t know the bike had a REVERSE gear till I tried going UP Welsh lanes
31 What’s TP ?
32 What are those pointy things on the front of my MT350 handlebars?
33 Where does my MT500 pump fit ?
34 So the odometer is in km and the speedo is in MPH ??????????????
34 What is ACCS ?
35 So the red light isn’t an oil pressure warning light?
36 Parked the MT between all shiny Road Kings and Fat Bobs at bike rally and caused most interest and confusion with the “coolest Harley ever”.
37 Where does this wire go..? More to the point what does it do?!
38 Wiring diagram says blue, loom is yellow??
39 Bought an MT, then another….
39a My name is ‘xxxxxx’ and I’m an MToholic.
39b How do I tell the Mrs I’ve just bought an/another MT?
39c I’m spending more time in the garage covered in oil/grease than with the family.
39d I’m going to strip it down and rebuild it…
40. Welcome to the club mate
45. You don’t need a f*****g chain tensioner !
46 You DO need a f*****g chain tensioner
48….where did I put that bloody spare plug??? I had it a minute ago
45 No its not WW2
46. Does anyone have a spare rear wheel?
47 Yes those panniers are home made.
49 The answer’s in FAQs Mate!
50. MT500 riders dress to the left.
51 Lightbulb fixer….
51(a) Camping and drinking lager from cans around a fire? Not for me!
52 My other bikes an airplane.
53 To posh to push? Bunker it!
54 Sprag says “clunk”
55 (500 owner) my other bikes a Harley
58 ELLRIDER! Stop twisting my throttle!
60 Did you get my PM about your free parts?
62 why can’t I see any oil in the window on the side of the engine
63 I have oil in my sight glass – is that OK?
64 My bike is fecked – anyone here speak English. Can be written in French, Turkish, Spanish, Italian or Welsh if ya need the points on the scrabble board.
65 I’ll bet my tank cap’s tighter than yours